What it really felt like to face her spirit and keep showing up anyway
I was full blown terrified before the first channeling session with my mother’s spirit!
Not because I doubted the connection, but because I didn’t know which version of my mother would show up during the session:
The one who made me small?
The one who screamed?
The one who shamed me?
The one who punished me for smiling too brightly?
The one who beat my free spiritedness out of me?
The one who made me not want to live?
The one I hoped might finally explain everything?
What came through was none of them.
Her spirit came through in a higher state; not her cruel, earthly self. It came through as the one who could see what she couldn’t bear to admit when she was alive.
I asked the hard questions I never could before, but not with venom or with rage. I asked them with urgency and respect from a strange aching compassion I didn’t know I still had for her.
She answered fully. And each time she answered, I either fell apart or sat there visibly stunned.
My emotions were all over the place. I sobbed through sections of most of our channeling sessions. I felt vulnerable, relieved, angry, understanding, compassion, disgust, shock, respect, love, gratitude, disbelief, sadness. See, all over the place!
My inner child had her hands firmly on the wheel, her emotions strong and based in fear.
But still, I showed up bravely, session after session, week after week. Letting my mother’s spirit explain the parts of her that terrified me, confused me, and left wounds that still hadn’t closed.
I was very exhausted after each session, so rest and hydration were on the docket for the rest of the day, then processing the info that came through each session continued throughout the week.
Demi explained that my mother’s spirit was undergoing a karmic review—a soul-level unraveling of what she had done, what she had learned, and what still lingered in the shadows. Every time I asked a hard question, it helped her spirit process.
But Demi and my mother’s spirit made this crystal clear: I was not responsible for my mother’s healing. I was not there to save her. Not anymore.
Her spirit softened and healed with each session. She found healing in telling the truth.
And I kept showing up, session after exhausting session.
Slowly, my fear turned into clarity, my pain into understanding, and I began to transform.
What I found, in the end, was something I never expected: a quiet sense of fulfillment, peace, clarity, closure, and the kind of understanding that finally let me exhale.
PHOTO: Screenshot of channeling session with my mother’s spirit. August 9, 2023.
