Welcome, Beautiful Soul
To the ones who lived it and the ones who hold them
Whether you arrive here as a survivor of narcissistic abuse or as a professional committed to holding a safe, informed space for those who have lived it—I’m so glad you’re here.
These conversations are unlike anything you’ve ever read before. They are not clinical case studies, educational theory, or polished poetic metaphors. They are real and raw. They brought me healing where therapy could only offer theory and much needed validation.
Therapy was an important step for me because it affirmed that what happened to me was real. But these sessions—the words that came through from behind the veil—enabled my healing. They gave me something therapy couldn’t—clarity, meaning, peace, and eventually forgiveness (don’t worry, I do not push forgiveness on anyone).
What it means to share this with you
The Conversations We Never Had is not just a project. It’s a piece of my soul—my story, my healing, my truth. These sessions changed my life from the inside out and I hold them very close. They are something I cherish with my whole heart.
Offering them to you now is both vulnerable and sacred. This isn’t content I created—it’s something I lived through, alchemized, and now present as a heart offering. Sharing it with you is one of the greatest honors of my life. Thank you for your purchase and for receiving it.
The weight of what’s ahead
Whether you’ve lived the story or are holding space for someone who has, the weight of what’s ahead is real. It may hit you harder than expected and earlier than you think.
The first section—The Year the Truth Spoke Softly, Then Screamed—is a three-part narrative that covers the 12 months leading up to The Conversations We Never Had. It begins in August 2020, when I was preparing to move into my parents’ home as a caregiver during the height of the covid pandemic. I thought I was stepping in to help. I had no idea I was walking into the belly of the beast—or that the woman I was moving in to care for was a narcissist.
For most of my life, I had gaslit myself about her behavior—dismissing the cruelty, downplaying the chaos, even rewriting the past just to survive it. I knew something was deeply wrong, but I didn’t have a name for it. What followed was an excruciating awakening under my abuser’s roof—one that peeled away every illusion I had about my mother, my childhood, and myself.
Gently settle in
Your experience with The Convos might not be easy, so before you move forward I invite you to pause.
This isn’t the kind of content you skim between tasks or half-read while watching your child’s soccer practice. And it’s definitely not a casual blog post or something you multitask your way through.
This stuff is deep. And it will most likely be triggering.
You may be tempted to jump in, but please don’t. Prepare yourself first:
grab a box of tissues just in case
silence your phone
turn off all notifications
close your extra tabs
grab a journal and your favorite pen if you’re into that kind of thing
get comfortable in a calm space.
Viewing tip
This content is best experienced on a device larger than a phone—like a tablet, laptop, or desktop. You’ll want space to breathe with the words. The formatting and emotional weight will land much more clearly on a full screen.
Read in order—no skipping around
The Convos is not stand-alone sessions. Each one builds on what came before it—energetically, emotionally, and spiritually. If you skip around, the experience will feel fragmented, confusing, and out of context.
Please read every section in the order it’s presented. The sequence matters. Let it unfold how it was meant to.
You’ll read it differently over time
I’ve returned to these sessions many times since they were recorded. Some pieces didn’t fully make sense the first time I read them, but months or even years later those same words found their way home within me.
Come back to this work as you grow. Let it meet you at each new layer of your healing.
A note from my heart to yours
To the daughter who lived through it,
I see you. I am you. And I know how hard it is to be the daughter of a narcissistic mother.
I know what it’s like to doubt your own memories and to rewrite your own history just to survive it. I know how exhausting it is to keep explaining pain that no one else can see. I know the ache of longing for a mother who never truly existed.
It took me more than five decades to finally name what I’d lived through. The peace came later—slowly, in fragments, as I let go of the lies I’d been taught to believe. These behind-the-veil conversations marked a turning point. A place where the understanding and healing were real.
From the bottom of my heart, I hope they offer you the same. May clarity come, may understanding deepen, and may peace—real, lasting peace—find its way to you, again and again as you heal.
You deserve nothing less.
To the therapist, coach, healer, or clinician who cares for women like me,
Thank you for being here. Thank you for believing your clients, for holding their stories, and for wanting to understand.
What you’re about to read is rare. Not just because it’s spiritually channeled, but because it offers something no textbook ever could: direct access to the mind and spirit of a mean, narcissistic mother.
These sessions are raw, unfiltered, and honest. They show the inner landscape of someone who harmed her child and husband again and again, then after death explained why. No one else has ever done this before.
My deepest hope is that these conversations give you insight you’ve never had before, that they expand your understanding, and that they allow you to support your clients with even more depth, nuance, and compassion than ever before.
This work matters and you matter so much to those of us walking this path.
With respect and gratitude,
Carole Murphy
Creator & Founder of The Weight of Belief
Author, The Conversations We Never Had
Maternal narcissistic abuse survivor
Rape survivor
Therapy helped me validate my story. But the experience of these nine channeling sessions without a doubt changed me. They gave me the clarity, the closure, and the healing I never thought was possible.
I’m honored to offer them to you now.
Ready to go behind the veil?